e commented on my post about the Pivotal Moments writing exercise, wondering, "why do you feel it must be a Happy Thing, em?" My answer grew long enough to cut from the comment I started and paste it into this new post:

I didn't feel my Pivotal Moment MUST be a Happy Thing, e, but reading over my growing list of semi-tragic episodes and- even though I grew and developed in really positive ways as a result of all the Sad/Bad Things I noted- the list wasn't an accurate representation of all that has spurred change in my life, what I would consider Pivotal Moments.

I've been thinking about it more overnight, and decided that the reason my list consisted of the Hard Shit is that those events are the stand-out types in my life, because the norm overall is that my life has been filled with a lot of joy and with joyful experiences (lucky me). I have changed, gradually, through the joyful times, but they didn't stand out to me initially as Pivotal Moments, being overshadowed by the memory of rapid and sometimes unwelcome er, pivoting initiated by trauma. Thinking of it in these terms, I can cite many many "happy" Pivotal Moments; times where I had vim and inertia and the opportunity to choose where to direct them. So.

(Also it is a very Mormon thing to accentuate the positive and flat-out DENY the negative, so there's probably a bit of that cultural influence emerging, as well.)

Anyone else want to chime in? Is there a persistent tone to the Pivotal Moments in your lives? Would you define them as positive/negative, or another category? Are they patternless? Or do they elude this type of definition altogether? I'd love to hear other responses, especially from you e, if you will...

-EM