Sunday, March 26, 2006

e commented on my post about the Pivotal Moments writing exercise, wondering, "why do you feel it must be a Happy Thing, em?" My answer grew long enough to cut from the comment I started and paste it into this new post:

I didn't feel my Pivotal Moment MUST be a Happy Thing, e, but reading over my growing list of semi-tragic episodes and- even though I grew and developed in really positive ways as a result of all the Sad/Bad Things I noted- the list wasn't an accurate representation of all that has spurred change in my life, what I would consider Pivotal Moments.

I've been thinking about it more overnight, and decided that the reason my list consisted of the Hard Shit is that those events are the stand-out types in my life, because the norm overall is that my life has been filled with a lot of joy and with joyful experiences (lucky me). I have changed, gradually, through the joyful times, but they didn't stand out to me initially as Pivotal Moments, being overshadowed by the memory of rapid and sometimes unwelcome er, pivoting initiated by trauma. Thinking of it in these terms, I can cite many many "happy" Pivotal Moments; times where I had vim and inertia and the opportunity to choose where to direct them. So.

(Also it is a very Mormon thing to accentuate the positive and flat-out DENY the negative, so there's probably a bit of that cultural influence emerging, as well.)

Anyone else want to chime in? Is there a persistent tone to the Pivotal Moments in your lives? Would you define them as positive/negative, or another category? Are they patternless? Or do they elude this type of definition altogether? I'd love to hear other responses, especially from you e, if you will...



Anonymous Heidi said...

[Non-blogger, poking my nose in.}

I wouldn’t say there was a persistent tone to the pivotal moments I’ve experienced. I am not of the Mormon persuasion, but I readily admit to choosing to look at the positive side of situations. (But I’m no Pollyanna, no siree. I don’t stuff my fingers in my ears and sing LALALA when challenges come a’knocking.)

Some of the moments in my life that some might consider negative eventually resulted in the creation of new scenarios. (New and Improved!) Kinda like the role Pluto plays in astrology: Destruction, which then leads to rebirth or rebuilding. Sometimes it’s a deeply painful process, and I’ve been shaken to the absolute core more times than I’d like to count. Those experiences were ultimately transformational though, and I know I’ve grown stronger in the process.

I had no conscious vote in some of those moments; those unexptected occurences that I don’t remember the Universe consulting me on, and the decisions made by others that ultimately impacted me.

And then there were those Pivotal Moments that I DID have control over; making a major decision to do (or not do) something. I was so in control of my life and my future--oh, the sense of exhiliration!

3:44 PM  
Blogger ...e... said...

pivotal moments for me are categorized only by their being pivotal. some are good, some are bad. all resulted in growth, of course, or i wouldn't still be here, right? but the good grew into bad as often as the bad grew into good, and vice versa so, since the only constant is change, it doesn't make sense to me to concentrate on either one, no?

5:01 PM  
Blogger Lin said...

Pivotal moments in one's life are the important markers in one's memory bank. As one gets older, those markers become more and more important for identifying a time, a place, a smell, a color, a nuance. Whether those times cause you to pivot and actually take a different approach to an issue is something different. However one responds to this moment is not what I see as important; rather it's how one files it internally.

6:29 PM  
Blogger squid said... your "Mormony" post-it from the tagging exercise makes sense. I had thought it was someone's clever wordplay regarding your blogads ambitions.

I realized at 7:00 last night that I'd forgotten to get you that promised acetaminophen. Apologies. I hope you'll forgive me and come back some time.

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